You’re here at the cusp of a massive life change. Your relationship is either ending, in the process of ending, or has already ended. And now you’re left with all these feelings, logistical concerns, and newfound uncertainty. No matter your particular circumstances, this situation can be so disorienting and tender.
If you’re wondering how to “get over divorce,” it’s important to understand that “getting over” your experiences or even your sharp pain isn’t the primary goal. Instead, this recovery journey is about learning how to deal with divorce in ways that honor self-respect, self-love, self-compassion, and self-awareness. There’s no straightforward way to do any of this, but this guide offers many beneficial guidelines that can help you.
Understanding the Divorce Process
Before you can learn how to accept divorce, you need to prepare yourself for what divorce really entails. Divorce isn’t just about your marriage legally ending- divorce affects nearly every facet of your life, including your finances, parenting, home, and other relationships. During this time, you will be faced with several significant choices, and some of them won’t have great answers. However, being informed is one of the first steps of acceptance.
It’s common to toggle through the following emotions at every stage of the divorce process.
Anger/resentment: You may be angry at either yourself or your spouse at any point. You might feel angry at external factors or other people who influenced this circumstance. For example, if there was an affair, you may resent the other person. You might also be angry at more intangible variables, such as your ex-spouse’s drinking problem that caused them to withdraw from you emotionally.
Sadness: Sadness is also typical, and you may feel a deep sadness over the fact that your marriage ended or a sadness about the love you two used to share. If you have children, you might feel sad about their circumstances changing or the family unit being restructured. Reflecting on past memories can also evoke strong feelings of nostalgia or sadness.
Shame: You may feel ashamed about getting divorced, causing you to avoid telling others or omitting or lying about certain details. You might be ashamed about the circumstances that led to the divorce in the first place. Shame is a complex emotion that can be hard to even name, but it often embodies a belief that sounds like, if people really knew this about me, they would reject me. This part of me is unworthy of love.
Fear: There’s often a pronounced fear that things will never get better or that you will have to now manage life on your own. You may be afraid of certain financial or legal consequences. You may have fears about your well-being or the well-being of your children, particularly if things feel unstable right now.
Loneliness: Loneliness is also a common emotion that comes in different forms and intensities. Marriage comes with a sense of ongoing companionship, even if you two weren’t all that connected in the months or years leading up to the divorce. You may feel lonely in your friend group if others are married or partnered. You might also notice yourself just feeling lonely as you go to bed without another person at night.
Relief: Some people note relief at various stages of the divorce process. This may signify that you’ve already resolved certain emotions or grieved different parts of your relationship. You may feel a sense of liberation that things are now changing and you have a new path ahead of you. You might also feel relieved to no longer be in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship.
Different Types of Grief During Divorce
No matter the specific circumstances, all divorces bring up tremendous grief. Grief is experienced by the spouse who initiates the divorce, and it’s also true for the spouse who feels blindsided by the divorce. It’s also true even when the divorce is fairly civil and amicable.
Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory grief refers to the grief associated with knowing a loss is coming. Spouses planning to initiate a divorce may experience this type of grief as they consider how and when they will break this news to their partner.
During the actual separation, both partners may start to grieve the loss of their identity as a family unit or couple. There is pronounced uncertainty about what the future holds, and one or both partners may feel indecisive about whether they should really “go through with it.” During this stage, it’s common to ruminate about the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘should-we-try’ scenarios, as individuals are trying to reconcile whether the situation is still salvageable.
Disenfranchised Grief
Disenfranchised grief refers to relatively unrecognized grief or grief that does not feel socially acceptable. Mainstream society often only views major losses, such as the death of a loved one, as a valid type of grief. However, divorce also involves both concrete and intangible losses, including:
The loss of your identity: The identity of being “married” or having a “husband” or “wife” may have felt like a core part of you. You may grapple with feeling like you have failed yourself, your partner, or your children. You also may not know who you really are outside of that identity.
The loss of a shared future: Couples inherently share plans for their future. There is often profound grief associated with the loss of not “growing old together” or raising your children under the same roof.
The loss of emotional stability: Marriage often coincides with a sense of familiarity, safety, and predictability. Losing these values can feel like a significant loss, which may be unnerving.
The loss of certain assets or tangible items: Amid a divorce, you may lose your home, car, access to certain pets, beloved items, and more. These tangible losses are very real, but people don’t always honor their merit, reinforcing themes of disenfranchised grief.
The loss of other friends/family: Divorce often changes how you relate to your ex-partner’s family or friends. In some cases, you will no longer have a relationship with certain people. This can feel like a tremendous loss, especially around certain holidays or rituals.
Losses that others don’t fully understand or validate: In some cases, people will “celebrate” you divorcing your spouse, especially if there were certain issues like violence or addiction present in the marriage. This can exacerbate your own complex emotions, making you think you “should” be grateful or relieved, even if you are devastated or scared.
Delayed Grief
Delayed grief refers to experiencing grief several months or years after the loss occurred. As it applies to divorce, delayed grief may happen when someone “waits” to truly feel their feelings. This often happens due to logistical concerns, such as being preoccupied with taking care of children, coordinating new living arrangements, or working out legal matters.
Delayed grief isn’t always a conscious decision. Some people are more inclined to suppress or intellectualize their emotions. For example, you might think you feel fine only to realize you actually feel deeply sad or angry. You may also worry about imposing your emotions onto others, particularly if you have internalized beliefs about needing to stay strong or remain calm.
Furthermore, shock and denial are both common responses to divorce. This provides an initial numbness, blocking people from truly experiencing the full impact of grief all at once.
Ambiguous Grief
Ambiguous grief happens when you’re grieving a somewhat undefined or unresolved loss. For example, within the context of divorce, your ex-spouse is still alive, and you may still have contact or co-parenting obligations with them. However, the relationship has undoubtedly changed, and this change can be challenging to reconcile.
The loss of your partner changing: During or after a divorce, you may notice how your spouse makes certain changes, including changes to their job, appearance, mental state, or more. Some changes may be positive, whereas others may be negative. All of these changes can be confusing to witness. Furthermore, losing your intimacy and connection can make it harder to accept these changes.
The loss of being their spouse: The reality of moving through daily life brings a sense of loss. For instance, it may feel painful to see your spouse in certain settings (your child’s birthday party or running into them at the store). This grief may be amplified if you feel distressed and sense they have “moved on” or are in another relationship.
The loss of enjoying certain milestones: Maybe you always imagined taking a certain trip or retiring together. Even if you achieve those milestones independently, you may note certain grief reactions associated with missing them during those times.
Legal Process Considerations
Divorces can get messy, and the legal parts of divorce are largely contingent on your specific location. However, you will generally need to consider the process of filing for divorce, dividing different assets, assessing child support and/or alimony, and other decisions regarding custody and child support. As a preliminary step, look into your local laws and timeline requirements.
Here are some professionals that can support you:
Finding the right attorney: Look for an attorney specializing in family law with experience in managing cases that resemble yours. Like any professional, it’s reasonable to interview multiple attorneys before making your selection. The right person should promote a sense of safety, and you should have confidence in their capacity to guide you throughout this process.
Speaking to a financial planner: Financial planners specializing in divorce can help you make informed choices about debt, savings, and other money-related concerns. This can be an important resource as you navigate changes in your income. Additionally, a good financial planner can also support you in crafting a post-divorce budget and identifying long-term financial goals that align with your current circumstances.
Consulting with a mediator: If you and your spouse are reviewing options for divorcing amicably, mediators can help you come to a resolution without needing to go to court. This mitigates time, cost, and potential conflict, especially when it comes to dividing assets or custody arrangements.
Meeting with real estate agents: If your divorce entails property assets, you may need to sell your current home or other residences. Real estate agents handle the logistics of working with appraisers, listing and selling your home, and supporting you in finding new housing.
Reviewing with a tax professional: Financial assets and alimony/custody payments have tax implications. Ideally, you should be aware of potential obligations, penalties, and more- this can help you make the best decisions for yourself and your family post-divorce.
How to Cope With Divorce At Every Stage
First things first- there is no perfect strategy for coping with divorce. The Life Change Index Scale (simply known as ‘The Stress Test’) ranks divorce as the second leading stressor and marital separation as the third leading stressor- following only behind the death of a spouse(1).
With that, here are some ways to make the divorce process less of a burden.
Cultivate Self-Compassion
Self-compassion derives from the capacity to treat yourself with the understanding, care, and love you would strive to offer a good friend. This model comes from Dr. Kristin Neff, and it includes three components(2).
Self-kindness: Self-kindness means treating yourself kindly during hard times. Divorce may bring up feelings of shame, inadequacy, and failure. Someone who practices self-kindness might aim to be affirming to themselves. They will try to practice good self-care that nourishes both their mind and body. At the very least, you can practice self-compassion by asking yourself, What would I tell a friend right now if they were going through a similar experience?
Mindfulness: Mindfulness refers to deliberately striving to be in the present moment. Divorce can trigger people to ruminate on the past or obsess about what might happen in the future. It also often amplifies heightened emotions of guilt, fear, anger, disgust, and shame. Mindfulness refers to labeling your emotions without judging them and practicing grounding techniques to anchor yourself to the here and now.
Common humanity: Common humanity embraces the concept that suffering is universal. Millions of people have divorced, and you are not alone in your experience. Although you may feel isolated, it’s important to be mindful of falling into self-pity or self-loathing. People can and will support you, and it’s okay to honor that you don’t need to cope “perfectly” right now.
Challenge Negative Thinking
Self-compassion opens inner space for compassionate inner dialogue. However, you still may experience strong cognitive distortions impacting your mood and behaviors. While there are many different kinds of cognitive distortions, some common ones include:
- Catastrophizing
- Discounting the positive
- All-or-nothing thinking
- “Should” beliefs
- Mind reading
- Fortune-telling
The good news is that it’s possible to discern and challenge negative thoughts as they arise. If you recognize yourself experiencing a cognitive distortion, you can try the following techniques:
Examine the evidence: Challenge a specific thought by directly asking yourself, What evidence do I have that supports this thought? What evidence might challenge or contradict it? Is this thought rooted strictly in feelings, facts, or a combination of both? What would I tell my best friend if they came to me struggling with this very thought?
Practice thought-stopping: If you notice yourself spiraling into negative thinking, try visualizing a tangible item encouraging you to stop. This could be a literal stop sign or it could be a loving figure encouraging you to kindly focus on something else.
Allow yourself to imagine the worst-case scenario: Sometimes it’s actually helpful to anticipate the worst-case scenario coming true. This can naturally diffuse catastrophic thinking. For example, let’s say you’re afraid that you will never find love again and might be alone forever. If that’s the case, ask yourself, How likely is this to happen? Then reflect on what you would specifically do if that situation did occur.
Engage in reattribution: Reattribution refers to appropriately assigning responsibility to different variables that may have caused something to happen. For example, you might say, This divorce was all my fault- I’m a terrible person. Reattribution might help you acknowledge that all people and different external factors played a role in this happening.
Harness Retrospection and Introspection
Retrospection and introspection are key components of self-reflection, and they can support you in coming to terms with your divorce.
Retrospection refers to looking back on past experiences or actions. To cultivate retrospection, you only need to focus on what has already taken place. The goal is to review, assess, and cultivate insight into how those past actions have shaped present experiences or feelings.
Here are some retrospective prompts that can help you during your divorce process:
- What were the most positive parts of my marriage?
- What red flags did I overlook or downplay?
- What part did I play in the marriage changing or ending?
- How did I grow within this marriage?
What experiences or lessons do I want to take with me moving forward? - What would I have done differently if given the choice?
- How did this relationship affect my self-worth or self-esteem?
Introspection refers to the process of reflecting on your current thoughts, feelings, needs, and psychological state. Introspection is internal, meaning you’re focused on your own inner experiences to strengthen self-awareness. The goal of introspection is to foster insight that supports both present and future well-being.
Here are some introspective prompts that can help you during your divorce process:
- What emotions are the strongest for me right now?
- What is the best way for me to cope with these emotions?
- What unmet needs do I notice myself having?
- How do I want to take care of myself during this time?
- What support do I most need from others?
- What kind of relationship do I hope to have with my ex-partner?
- What changes in my life do I see myself needing to make?
- How can I be kind to myself if I’m struggling with grief or depression?
Prioritize Your Support Network
Although divorce often feels so isolating, leaning on support can offer you a sense of empathy, encouragement, and connectivity. Support comes in many different forms, including through:
- Current friends and family members
- Coworkers
- Support groups (either peer-led or professionally-facilitated)
- Virtual communities or message boards
- Therapeutic apps
Discern your circle of support: Not all sources of support are created equally, and different people can fulfill different needs at this time. For example, one friend may be excellent at holding space and giving thoughtful advice. Another friend might be better at distracting you and going out and having fun. With that, it’s unlikely that any one person can meet all your needs, so try to build upon your village.
Set boundaries with unsupportive people: As you call in more support in life, you may also need to establish limits around people who actually stunt your recovery process. This may include certain friends or family members who are very close with your ex, those who pressure you to act or think a certain way, or people who present as judgmental or critical of your circumstances. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to cut them out of your life entirely; instead, you just might have to reevaluate how and what you share with them.
Look for support online: While there’s no complete replacement for in-person connection, virtual support can be helpful if you’re struggling to find friends or have a demanding schedule that impacts your social life. Sharing stories and feelings with like-minded individuals offers a sense of solace and undoing aloneness, which can be crucial for your healing.
Embrace Redefining Your Identity
Divorce changes who you are and what your life looks like- this is obvious, but it can also be difficult to reconcile. Moving on from being married to your former spouse entails a sense of rediscovery. While this time may feel tender, it’s also a rich opportunity for leaning into curiosity and expanding who you are.
Revisit the dreams you prolonged or discarded: There’s a good chance you had some goals for your life that you let go of during your marriage. For example, maybe you always wanted to travel internationally, but your spouse found those types of vacations stressful, so you spent most summers visiting mutual friends or heading to the same familiar destinations. Now may be the time to reflect on some of those old preferences. This doesn’t mean you have to act on what you once imagined doing (your dreams may have changed!). However, allowing yourself space to consider if they fit into your new life can open a sense of spaciousness.
Reflect on routines that no longer serve you: Married couples fall into automatic rituals with one another. For example, maybe you started eating vegetarian because your spouse was vegetarian, which simplified grocery shopping and meal planning. Perhaps you decorated your home in neutral tones even though you feel more drawn to vibrance. Now that you’re no longer together, it might be time to reassess your specific preferences.
Rediscover your concept of connection: In marriage, your social life may have largely revolved around your spouse or shared relationships. Divorce provides the opportunity to reexamine how you want to connect with people on your terms. Which friendships might you want to rekindle? Is there a local group that piques your interest? This is your chance to consider pursuing those paths.
Find who you are in solitude: Navigating time alone may feel daunting at first. However, this is an important time for deeper reflection. Think about the solo activities that might bring you joy- whether it’s drinking a cup of coffee in silence or walking your dog. These moments allow you to build the most significant relationship you will ever have: the one with yourself.
Additional Guidelines for How to Survive Divorce You Don’t Want
Experiencing a divorce you don’t want can bring up complex feelings of shame, loneliness, despair, and sadness. You may very well feel heartbroken right now, and it might seem like your entire life has been turned inside out.
Trust that emotions always ebb and flow: No emotional state is permanent, and no emotional processing moves in a linear timeline. The most important part of “survival” is allowing yourself to embrace your emotions for what they are. Nothing is “right” or “wrong” or even “good” or “bad.”
Lean into the grief: As mentioned, grief is an integral part of any significant transition, and your grief may feel particularly heightened right now. Identifying your feelings for what they are- without judging them- can help facilitate a sense of healing. Grief absolutely does hurt, but the pain doesn’t last forever.
Prioritize the need for self-care: It’s important to practice self-care and choose activities and relationships that make you feel good about yourself. This can be difficult, especially if you feel depressed or hopeless, but try to view it as a way to stay anchored. Learning how to ground yourself is important for managing and reducing intense feelings of overwhelm.
Reclaim your sense of empowerment: An unwanted or surprise divorce may indeed leave you feeling more helpless than ever. However, you still have autonomy over your life. Identify a few, realistic goals that provide you with a sense of control and allow yourself to be cushioned by support. You can and will get through this time, no matter how dire it feels right now.
Prioritize Engaging in Proactive Coping Skills
It may feel tempting to numb your sorrows or even self-medicate some of your distress. These desires are normal. Occasional indulgence is not necessarily problematic. However, be mindful of how you cope with your big emotions. Although they may feel like more “work,” prioritizing healthier habits supports a better sense of healing.
Get more physical activity: Movement can be particularly helpful for processing and releasing emotions. It also supports your physical health. If possible, aim to get outside, as research consistently shows that exposure to sunlight can boost your mental well-being(3).
Meditate for two minutes a day: Many people want to develop a meditation practice, but they feel overwhelmed with starting. The idea of sitting in silence for long periods often feels daunting. But habits are built with small changes, so instead of trying to do it all at once, consider just meditating for two minutes a day. Set a timer, close your eyes, and focus inward on your breath. When thoughts arise (as they will), notice them and simply return to the breath. Over time, you can build upon your practice.
Choose creative expression: Writing, drawing, cooking, photography, and creating music can all have a profound impact on your recovery journey. Creative expression sometimes allows you to release what feels “stuck” inside.
Dial in your sleep hygiene: Sleep deprivation can exacerbate emotional distress. It’s important to focus on being well-rested right now. Aim to implement a consistent bedtime routine where you go to bed at the same time each day and wake up around the same time. If you struggle with sleep problems, consider trying relaxation exercises or avoiding screens just before settling into bed.
Pamper yourself: Self-care should sometimes prioritize a sense of immense pleasure. Consider which healthy coping skills coincide with feelings of enjoyment- this may include taking a hot bath, eating a favorite piece of chocolate, buying a new book, or going out and getting a massage. The point is to focus on nourishing yourself with love and kindness.
Keep focusing on what you can control: Ultimately, life is full of many situations that you just can’t control. You can’t change what anyone says or does. You only have influence over yourself, so try to direct your attention to what directly lies in your area of focus.
Write down your gratitude: Although you may feel angry or lost right now, gratitude can act as a necessary anchor. Consider writing down the best part of your day each day- this gets you in the habit of noticing life’s simplest pleasures. Or, simply reflect on your gratitude at a set time each day (such as when you’re making your morning cup of coffee).
Read about other people experiencing similar situations: Divorce is such a common experience, and you may feel better about your own circumstances if you can connect with the greater collective. There are many podcasts, books, resources, and documentaries about how to navigate this time. Learning about other people’s experiences may help offer you a sense of much-needed hope and grace.
Considerations for Dating
At some point after divorce, you may start visiting the idea of dating. Of course, there’s no perfect time for getting back into a relationship. However, it’s important to be aware of the potential benefits and risks before you get out there.
Understanding Your Attachment Style
Attachment theory posits that we generally fall into four attachment style categories. Research shows that early relationships with caregivers set the foundation for early attachment formation(4). A child born to an attuned caregiver who consistently meets their needs is more likely to be securely attached. However, a child with a critical, neglectful, or unstable parent may become insecurely attached.
Secure attachment style: If you have a secure attachment style, you likely have a relatively healthy self-esteem. You can give and receive love comfortably, and you balance both autonomy and connection to others well.
Anxious attachment style: If you have an anxious attachment style, your desires for intimacy often feel clouded by your fears of abandonment. You might have a strong need for control, and you may also seek constant reassurance from others about their loyalty. In a relationship, you may present as clingy.
Avoidant attachment style: If you have an avoidant attachment style, your fear of abandonment leads to a fierce sense of independence. Relying on others or showing vulnerability feels threatening, causing you to detach when commitment feels strong. In relationships, you may present as guarded or withdrawn.
Disorganized attachment style: If you have a disorganized attachment style, you experience a mix of both anxious and avoidant traits. The desire for closeness is as strong as the fear of it. In a relationship, you may cycle through patterns of deep intimacy coupled with sudden withdrawal or rage.
It’s common for opposite attachment styles to attract, and this can create some inherent challenges within a relationship. With that, it may be helpful to ask yourself:
- What attachment style do I most strongly resonate with?
- What attachment style did my ex-partner have?
- How can I strengthen my current attachment needs?
- How will I know if my current partner has a secure attachment style?
Benefits of Moving Slowly With Dating
Starting a new relationship can feel exciting, but it’s often better to take a more deliberate approach when dating. Some of the benefits of moving slowly include:
Allowing yourself enough time and space to heal: Divorce leaves many wounds and unprocessed emotions. While meeting someone new offers a great distraction, it can also result in a ‘carryover effect,’ where unresolved issues filter into the new relationship.
Clarifying your needs: Your priorities and relationships will likely change post-divorce. It’s important to consider what you really want when dating. Moving slowly with dating gives you time to determine what matters most to you- and it also allows you to identify any red flags you know you wish to avoid.
Avoiding rebound relationships: While rebound relationships aren’t necessarily “bad,” they can have consequences. You may end up in a dynamic you don’t really want, and you may engage in actions you later regret. Moving slowly allows you to test your emotional comfort before potentially hurting yourself or someone else.
Being proactive and protective of your children: If you have children, dating becomes significantly more complicated. Moving slowly models self-respect and intention. It also shows that you are putting their needs first, and it’s important for children to feel that sense of care.
Prioritizing working on yourself: After a divorce, you may realize you want to improve certain parts of yourself. While dating can be fun, this may distract you from some of your own recovery goals. There’s empowerment in simply taking some time for yourself- without having to meet the needs of another person.
How to Accept Your Ex Dating Someone Else
Realizing your ex is dating can be difficult, especially when you’re still processing the relationship. However, with time and effort, you can accept their actions and focus on yourself and your needs.
Set boundaries around the exposure: If it’s painful to see your ex with someone else, reduce contact or eliminate contact where you will need to interact with the other person. Now may also be the time to unfriend or unfollow any social media accounts.
Be mindful of comparisons: It’s natural to compare yourself to a new partner. You may look at them and think, They’re so much better than me! Or the opposite can occur, and you might say, Why would they even go for that person? However, any comparison often leads to heightened feelings of anger, sadness, longing, or remorse. Remind yourself that you are your own person and that this other person does not impact your inherent worth whatsoever.
Write a letter to your ex outlining how you feel: Discovering your ex is with someone new may feel like a setback in your recovery journey. Many divorcees suddenly feel like they’re back at square one after discovering this news. If you’re feeling that difficult sense of stuckness, consider writing everything down as if you were writing a letter to your ex. Don’t hold back and don’t mince any words. And then either rip it up, burn it, or share it with a close friend or therapist.
Be thoughtful around your children: You are certainly entitled to have your feelings about your ex’s new partner. However, imposing negativity on your children can have significant consequences. They may feel pressured to “pick a side” or affirm you, neither of which may be developmentally appropriate. Or, if they like the other person, they may feel a sense of confusion or disloyalty around you.
Guidelines for Taking Care of Your Children Post-Divorce
Many couples “stick it out” for their children, even if they’ve been unhappy for years. If that’s the case, divorce can feel multi-layered. Not only do you have to take care of yourself, but you also have to consider their well-being. No two children react to divorce the same. However, you should be aware of the common reactions and how to tend to them.
Prepare for fluctuating emotions (or no outright emotions at all): Some children respond to divorce with extreme sadness, fear, or anger. They may plead for you two to stay together, or they might internalize that they did something to cause this to happen. Others may present as relatively disinterested or even unfazed. All of these reactions are normal, and they could ebb and flow as time goes on.
Focus on maintaining a consistent sense of stability: Routine matters for children of all ages, and it becomes even more paramount during a time of upheaval. As much as possible, try to honor some normalcy in your child’s life, including familiar bedtimes, mealtimes, and more. If you are sharing custody with your ex, discuss strategies that can mitigate excessive disruptions during transitions.
Keep communication open and non-judgmental: Children need to feel witnessed during vulnerable times. Make sure that you actively listen to your child’s feelings, no matter how painful it may feel for you. Remember they are not responsible for holding your emotions or meeting your needs- while those absolutely matter, you need to take your personal concerns to other adults who can hold them.
Be aware of mental health warning signs: Children may struggle both emotionally and physically after a divorce. Be on the lookout for concerning behaviors including persistent withdrawal from friends or family, apathy around school or extracurricular activities, or safety concerns (self-harm, disordered eating, discussion about suicide).
Model healthy coping and resilience: Even if you’re not aware of your impact, your children absorb everything you say and do. They look to you as a role model for how you manage challenging situations. It’s okay to be vulnerable in sharing your emotions, but it’s equally important to model practicing self-compassion and self-care. These actions- even if they feel insignificant- show your children how to manage adversity adaptively.
Final Thoughts
There are no quick fixes for coping with divorce, and it’s okay if you feel scared, confused, afraid, or angry right now. Your feelings are entirely valid, and they will also change as time goes on. Feeling grief is not a sign something is wrong with you- it simply speaks to the massive upheaval occurring in your life.
Regardless of where you are in the grief process, aim to take good care of yourself and surround yourself with positive, compassionate support. It’s reasonable to ask for help. It’s also just as reasonable to maintain your privacy and set boundaries with certain people or obligations. Trust that with time and healing, you will feel better, and you will likely embrace a new sense of meaning and perspective.
Sources
- https://www.dartmouth.edu/eap/library/lifechangestresstest.pdf
- https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Psych-Review-article-in-press.pdf
- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10277019/
